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MAG.E 4
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MAG.E 4 (Disk 1 of 2).adf
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1977-12-31
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@3THE QUOTES FILE-PART ONE
========================
Version 11.1 - July 1994
Edited by, and copyright (c) Andrew M J Boulton BSc(Hons), AMIAP
89 Kelmscott Lane
Crossgates
Leeds
LS15 8JT
Based on an original joke by Big Steve Watson, (so blame him!).
The names of all games mentioned here are (c), TM, and (r) of their
respective companies; use of these names should not be construed as a
challenge to their status. Hey, guys, it's only a joke.
Copies are available from the author at the following rates:
Disk: Atari or IBM, various formats,
@3 3.5" DD 0.60
3.5" HD 1.00
Half price if you provide your own disk.
Hard copy: 1.60
Death, And Other Acts Of Gratuitous Violence
"He's dead, but it's not serious."
-Kevin Mills, Big Steve, (Aftermath1)
@3"That was a subtle scenario, apart from the nuke."
-Mike Bond, (Sheepquest2)
Ravella: "We're all going to die."
Kovacs : "I've known this from an early age."
Ravella: "No, we're all going to die soon."
Kovacs : "How?"
Ravella: "Messily."
-Andrew Boulton, Big Steve Watson, (Traveller3)
"I'll give him a few minuses for being dead..."
-GM, (Traveller3)
Mike Bond: "It's ok, I can handle it!"
Sheepy : "Mike, you're dead."
Mike : "I know, but I can handle it!"
-(KentQuest4)
@3"He's had his foot amputated at the neck."
-GM, (Something Strange5)
Vortex : "It's a safety precaution."
Cleo : "It's a grenade - taking the pin out is not a safety precaution!"
-NPC, Eddie Curtis, (Psychopath6)
"Okay, so that's another city we've nuked..."
-(Mage Wars7)
Reaper : "Can I kill him?"
Krishak: "No."
Reaper : "Not just a little bit?"
Krishak: "No."
-Simon "Chainsaw" Parkinson, NPC, (Traveller3)
@3
"I'm sure we can scrape together enough bits to bury him so's nobody
will notice."
-Solitaire, (Marvel Super Heroes8)
Anjin : "She said she was a hunter, but she could not deal with a single
deer. She died."
Joseph: "You didn't kill her, did you?"
Anjin : "No, the deer did."
-(RQ39)
"My great ambition in death is to become a zombie."
-Eddie, Eddie Curtis, (Something Strange5)
@3
Eddie: "I have a superb death of crime ahead of me."
Rob : "A superb death of crime? If you were still alive I'd be worried
about
you!"
-Eddie Curtis, Rob Povey, (Something Strange5)
"This is your demon speaking. We are currently flying far too low and far
too
fast away from a burning, semi-nuked city with a large number of angry
people
with large weaponry wanting to kill us. You will now be experiencing
feelings
of deja vu."
-Nemesis the Warlock, Big Steve Watson, (Mage
Wars7)
GM : "I'm trying not to kill the players. I don't like dead
players."
A Boulton: "Err...don't you mean 'characters'?"
@3 -(Aftermath!10)
"The last person we trusted exploded."
-Torag Glouch, Andrew Boulton, (Psi World11)
Player 1: "The Aslan just shredded the Engineer."
@3Player 2: "Why?"
Player 1: "He found out what 'psychotic' means."
-(Traveller12)
"You've just died. You've been through a severe shock!"
-GM, (Brothers in the Darkness13)
"I think we should kill them, just to be sure!"
-Ernst, Graham Southorn, (Brothers in the
Darkness13)
"I have a feeling a revolver may not be enough..."
-Ernst, Graham Southorn, (Brothers in the
Darkness13)
@3"Forget it - his head's come off!"
-GM, (Psi World11)
Arab : "What happened?"
Frank: "He had an accident with a power cord, some rope, some water, a
household
socket, and an electric lamp..."
-NPC, Andrew Moreton, (Psi World11)
GM : "The enemy just found your mine."
Player: "Where is he?"
GM : "He's got you surrounded..."
-(??)
Terrorist: [on radio]"If you don't come out, we'll shoot the hostages!"
Player : "What hostages?"
Terrorist: [BANG! THUD!] "Those hostages!"
-(Psi World11)
@3
Matrix: "I'll run him over!"
GM : "He's going into a building."
Matrix: "So?"
-Sean Rowan, (Traveller12)
Terrorist: "Shoot him!"
Kari : [pause] "How do I put the magazine back in?"
@3 -NPC, Jo Fay, (Psi World11)
"Don't worry about it - I've got a fusion gun!"
-Mary Webster II, Andrew Moreton, (Traveller12)
"You're twice as big as me, twice as strong as me, you're sitting on me,
I'm
unconscious and I'm tied up...YOU DON'T NEED TO SHOOT ME!"
-Steve Kearvell, (Brothers in the Darkness 238)
ýMax: "But we have committed mass murder."
Vicki: "Yes, but not on the people we're accused of killing!"
-John Walls, Carol Austin, (Brothers in the
Darkness 238)
"The planning and shopping killed a PC, but the assassination was over in
one roll."
-Andrew Boulton, (Heads of State35)
"Willard was fine right up to when he died - but he never really got over
that."
-GM, (Brothers in the Darkness13)
@3
John: "Why are you thinking of killing the Queen?"
@3Adam: "Well, we've killed the leader in every other big city we've been
in!"
-Andrew Boulton, Andrew Moreton, (Heads of
State35)
GM : "Clive's a Catholic..."
Lonthar: "Yeah - 'Praise the Lord and pass the plastique'!"
-Yvonne Barker, Ed Allison, (Aftermath10)
"Andy, I need armour, don't I? Yes, it's one of your games...!"
-Tim Kirk, (Cyberpunk15)
"So what if there's a blood sacrifice?"
-John Taylor, Steve Walls, (Northland of
Dreams39)
GM : "This guy is not a Terminator!"
Player: "No, a Terminator would at least have the decency to be limping by
now!"
-Grant Amey, (Northland of Dreams39)
"The rule-book doesn't go up as far as the gun this guy has!"
-(Various)
"We should have taken off and nuked the site from orbit - it would
probably have
@3done less damage!"
-Andrew Boulton, (Aftermath!10)
"He wants to be a psychopath - now's his chance!"
-Alex, (Northland of Dreams39)
"We're not killing...err...many people..."
-Dug, Paul Heath, (Northland of Dreams39)
"You don't need evidence against someone to blow them away!"
-Nick Jackson, (Northland of Dreams39)
"I don't mind if he gets up, but he'd better bleed!"
-John Denholm, (Northland of Dreams39)
@3"We'll help you sedate him...with extreme prejudice if you want..."
-John Hawkins, Andrew Moreton, (Aftermath10)
"Shall we shoot him now, or later? He has to die sometime."
-Grant Amey, (Call of Cthulhu55)
"There's no-one here with a head left..."@3
-Andrew Boulton, (Psi World11)
÷Player: "What happened to him?"
GM : "He died horribly."
Player: "What killed him?"
GM : "He died horribly."
Player: "Yeah, but how did he die?"
GM : "Horribly."
Player: "What injuries did he have?"
GM : "Horrible ones."
-(Call of Cthulhu55)
GM : "No, not him! Kaleb, not Celeb."
Player: "It doesn't matter - I'll take revenge on anyone!"
-Andrew Moreton, (Psi World11)
@3
"He doesn't want you, he just wants a sample of you."
-Lonthar, Ed Allison, (Aftermath10)
"You know what we're heading for here? A bloodbath of unprecedented
proportions!"
-John Hawkins, Andrew Moreton, (Aftermath10)
@3
"Phase 5 - I actually notice I've expired..."
-Andrew Moreton, (Aftermath10)
Arthur St John-Smyth : "It's murder!"
Sir Bertie Basset : "Yes, but no-one would notice."
@3 -Ed Allison, Pete Eaton, (Call of Cthulhu44)
Ulyses : "He needs to have a fatal accident."
Tony : "He's already had one!"
Adam : "Yes, but he needs to have died of something we can explain!"
Ulyses : "What can we make him have died of?"
Adam : "He's been dead too long to introduce a cause."
Charlene: "Why don't we just get him brought back?"
Ulyses : "Because we're panicking!"
Charlene: "Look, we're being paid to protect these guys, not dispose of
them!"
Adam : "Oh, but it's a challenge! I've always wanted to dispose of a
body!"
-Sean Rowan, Tim Kirk, Andrew Moreton, NPC, (Psi
World11)
"Oh, I'll throw a grenade in McDonald's then."
-Dominic Macnamara, (Raining in UV56)
GM : "You hear a crash, followed by a crunch, followed by another
crash,
followed by a rumble, followed by a small explosion, followed by a
slightly
larger explosion, followed by another crash, followed by a HUGE explosion,
@3
followed by a series of smaller explosions, followed by another crash,
followed by another huge explosion, followed by another crash, followed by
a slight tinkling sound."
Player: "So we can assume they're all dead, then?"
@3 -(Raining in UV56)
"I shot him about four times, but he wouldn't fall over, so I had to get
the magnum out..."
-Alex Stokes, (complaining about silenced
pistols)
GM : "Sean is that a fire stalker?"
Player: "Yes."
GM : "You've just toasted the chief of police?"
Player: "It's all right, I'm going to put him out again!"
-Sean Rowan, (Traveller12)
"No smurf can survive napalm death!"
-Pulsifer, Andrew Moreton, (Something Horrible47)